


A Real Hero

by sugargaze



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Blood, Camo Hat, Club Poor, Concussions, Drive OST, M/M, Male Friendship, The Vine That We Don't Talk About, Uber, Zumiez, nobody asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 02:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19843366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugargaze/pseuds/sugargaze
Summary: Cody gets banned from the club for fighting with the bouncer.





	A Real Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy my attempt at wholesome content. It was nice to work on something that wasn't so relentlessly horny and tortured.

Noel walked leisurely on the sidewalk, bottle in hand, trying to look the least sketchy as possible. He looked at his feet as he walked, insecure and still unsure if his camo hat made him look cool or like he was going to a 3 Doors Down concert.

Noel squeezed the remote start button on his keys as he rounded the corner to the parking garage. He got into his car, placed the bottle on the floor, and texted Cody.

>> Your Uber arrive?

Noel sat in silence and waited for a response. It was still pretty early in the night and he hadn’t anticipated being thrown out of the club. He was pissed at Cody for getting them banned for life, and Aleena was pissed at Noel because she was the only one of her friends inside without a date.

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and watched the clock. Five minutes passed with no response.

Noel backed up and exited the garage. He rolled slowly by the club he’d just left, scared to hit a drunk pedestrian. He looked around to make sure nobody was coming when he saw a familiar rodent.

“What the hell…” Noel muttered to himself.

Noel backed up and brought his car to a stop in a clearly marked fire zone and threw his hazards on. He slid out of the car and walked across the street.

“Cody?”

Sure enough, Cody was sitting on the curb, dead asleep leaning against a parking meter. Noel crouched down next to him.

“Cody, wake up,” he said, shaking the man's shoulders.

“Wazzup? Oh hey, man,” Cody mumbled.

Cody looked at Noel and smiled, showing blood in every crevasse of his teeth. It made Noel feel incredibly lightheaded.

“Ugh, don’t- don’t do that. What’re you still doing here? When’s your Uber getting here?”

“Uh, I don’t…” Cody felt his pockets. “Oh, thank god. I thought I’d lost my Juul.”

“Wh- Cody, where’s your phone?” Noel asked in disbelief.

Cody looked at Noel and then looked at the stars, squinting and pondering without urgency. “Wow… really makes you think, huh?”

Noel just looked at him for a moment.

“Okay, bud. Stand up. I’ll take you home. Just… don’t puke in the car. Aleena is already mad at me.”

Noel grabbed Cody’s arm. “Come on.”

Cody used the meter and Noel for support and pulled himself up. Noel started pulling him towards his car, supporting the slightly larger man by placing his arm around Cody’s waist.

“Wait, where are we going? My Uber’s coming,” Cody whined.

Noel stopped and turned to look at Cody. They were standing in the middle of the street now.

“Wait, you actually have an Uber coming? What was the ETA before you lost your phone?”

“Uh, you tell me, man. You called it,” Cody said condescendingly.

“What?” Noel asked. “How would I call your Uber for you?”

Cody shrugged. “I don’t know. I really appreciate it, though.”

Noel let go of Cody and brought his own hands into a prayer position under his chin.

“Cody, I don’t even have Uber on my phone. I’m boycotting after that driver kept hitting the hard -er in a Jay-Z song and wouldn’t stop trying to sell me Herbalife. Remember? I lost my shit because corporate said it didn’t technically violate any rules.”

Cody chuckled. “Yooo, that sounds crazy. We should make that as a sketch.”

Noel looked at Cody in awe. He felt like Cody was in an alternate reality vortex and he was trying to suck Noel in.

“What the- Cody, how could we make that sketch? You wanna be on the internet forever saying the N-word? Are you out of your mind?”

Noel closed his eyes as soon as he said it. He knew he had fucked up. Cody refused to talk about the clip or even acknowledge what had happened. The one time Noel ever made a joke about it he thought for sure that Cody was going to put him in the ground.

Noel opened his eyes and looked at Cody with remorse. “Dude, I’m… I didn’t… I didn’t mean anything by that. I wasn’t even, like, thinking about the Vine. I legitimately forgot, please don’t-”

Cody furrowed his brow. “What? Why are you apologizing? Did you already edit my dick out?”

“Wait… what’s up?”

A long silence passed between them as Noel looked at Cody. He was waiting for Cody to break or clarify what he actually meant to say. 

“Cody, what… what are you talking about? Edit your dick out of what?” Noel wondered.

“Yeah, my audition for that muppet thing. They made that echidna character just for me.”

Noel shook his head in disbelief as he figured it out: Cody had no idea what was going on.

“Uh, Cody, where are we right now?” Noel asked gently.

Cody looked around and nodded confidently. “Uh, we’re in Orlando, aka the shittiest place in the world. Are you… are you that high, dude? Are you even okay to drive? You can just call us an Uber.”

Noel laughed incredulously and pressed his palms hard into his eye sockets.

“Okay, dude. I’m taking you to the hospital. Come on.”

Cody followed Noel but not without verbal protest.

“What? No, I’m fine. I’m not even that drunk.”

“I’m not- Jesus, I’m not concerned about alcohol poisoning, dude. I think you have a concussion.”

Cody walked around to the passenger side of Noel’s car and looked at Noel knowingly over the hood of the car.

“Honestly, dude? I get it. I'd be mad too. It’s fucked up that I composted your weed.”

Noel sighed and got into the car but Cody didn’t follow.

“Cody, it’s open,” Noel said loudly. Cody still didn’t move.

“CODY!” Noel yelled. Cody still didn’t react. Finally, Noel leaned over and opened the car door from the inside, accidentally hitting the horn in the process.

“Shit!” Noel hissed. He leaned back to his side and Cody finally got into the car.

“Yo, that scared me for real,” Cody confessed as he put his seatbelt on.

Noel turned the overhead light on in the car and locked eyes with Cody. It was like staring into an abyss.

This was not how Noel was wanting to spend his Wednesday night. He turned the light off and started the car.

“Oh, dude, is this the Drive soundtrack? Shit’s so fucking good.”

Noel wasn't playing any music.

Cody told Noel to remind him to buy driving gloves and then leaned his head against the car window and shut his eyes as Noel pulled onto the street. Noel felt grateful that that they managed to get on their way with nobody getting a ticket or getting hit by a car. After 5 minutes of navigating side streets, Noel merged onto the highway and put the car into cruise control. He realized Cody hadn’t moved at all and felt a tinge of fear.

“Hey,” Noel said softly, prodding Cody’s thigh. “Hey, you okay?”

Cody was jolted awake by Noel’s touch. He snapped his head around and looked at Noel with wide eyes.

“Wait, wh- where…?” Cody was totally disoriented. He brought his hand to his mouth and winced.

“Yo, what the fuck?” Cody fumbled to flip down the mirror, baring his teeth. “What the fuck is this?”

Noel alternated between watching the road and looking at Cody who was now craning his neck to see where they were.

“Cody-“ Noel started.

“Why is my mouth bleeding?” Cody’s voice was getting higher. “How did I get in your fucking car?”

“Cody… Listen. You’re okay. We were at the club and you got punched. I’m pretty sure you have a concussion from the way you hit the floor so I’m taking you to the ER.”

“Holy shit,” Cody exhaled. “The pain is… oh my god, dude.”

“Yeah, he… he fucking nailed you, homie.”

Cody leaned back against the head rest and Noel noticed his eyes were watering.

“Jesus, just breathing hurts. I can’t believe I still have teeth.”

“Hang in there, dude,” Noel said as he reached to place his hand on Cody’s forearm. “We’re almost to the hospital.”

They drove in silence for about a minute and then Cody sighed.

“Hey, sorry, can- can you put some music on to help distract me? Maybe like, I don’t know, some Drake or the Drive soundtrack or some shit like that.”

\---

Noel pulled into the hospital parking lot. He parked the car and turned it off and looked at Cody.

Cody was still upright with his head against the head rest. His eyes were open but slack and rivulets of tears were made obvious from the fluorescent light illuminating where Noel had parked. Noel couldn’t tell if Cody was crying from the pain or an adrenaline crash or both.

“Hey,” Noel said softly. “You ready?”

Cody brought his hands to his face, gently patting where he felt moisture.

“Yeah…” Cody said weakly. He took a deep breath. “Yeah, just give me a second.”

Noel nodded and felt a wave of anxiety wash over him. Noel hated hospitals. They both did but Noel would rather remove his own kidney without anesthesia than go within 100 feet of an operating room.

Noel reached down by Cody’s feet and picked up the bottle. He didn’t know anything about alcohol other than that he had a low tolerance and it tasted like shit most of the time.

He unscrewed the bottle and smelled it and then regretted smelling it. He brought the bottle to his mouth and closed his eyes. He filled his mouth the best he could and forced it down. It burned and his mouth began to water immediately.

“Ugh,” Noel uttered as he put his hand over his mouth. “I can’t believe people pay for this shit.”

He brought the bottle to his mouth and did it again. It was a little easier the second time, so he did it again.

“Blech.” Easier was still relative. He screwed the cap back on and went to put the bottle back down when Cody grabbed it.

“Gimme some of that,” Cody begged. Noel maintained his grip.

“Uh, I don’t… I don’t think you should do that, man. You might have swel-“

“Don’t be such a nerd, man. I already have alcohol in my system so they won’t be able to give me pain meds anyway. Just let me have, you know, a little bit.”

Noel had no idea if that was true but he let go of the bottle. If there was any time and place to enable Cody’s dumb behavior, it was right before they walk into a hospital.

Cody unscrewed the cap and took a breath. He brought it to his mouth and started drinking.

“Jesus Christ, dude.”

Cody was putting it down like water. Noel watched Cody’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. After about 10 seconds Noel put his hand on Cody’s on the bottle and gently tried to tilt it upright.

“Uh, hey…” Noel said cautiously. “Hey, that should be good, that was at least 3 or 4 shots worth.”

Cody nodded and screwed the cap on, then threw the bottle onto the floor without looking.

“Weird, that stuff tastes like pennies that someone pissed on,” Cody said, mostly to himself.

“Okay, you ready?” Noel asked again.

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

They both got out of the car.

“Can you still walk okay?” Noel asked as he locked up and noticed Cody leaning against the car.

Cody looked at Noel blankly. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I just… I’ll need a little help.”

Sure enough, Cody was fine to walk as long as he could drape an arm across Noel’s shoulders and Noel stabilized his midsection. As they got closer to the door Noel became very aware of what a weird pair they were. Cody in particular looked like he’d raided the dumpster of a Zumiez.

Noel took his abomination of a hat off and looked for a place to hide it. He threw it into the bushes despite knowing in his heart that he’d never be able to find it again.

Eventually they made it to intake after passing through a series of swinging doors. Cody talked to the woman behind the plexiglass and she slid him some forms. Noel followed him to a row of chairs and sat next to him.

Cody started writing and stopped, angling his head back and staring into space.

“You good, man?” Noel asked.

“Uh, yeah, it’s just… when I lean forward to write it hurts more.”

“Oh, here, I’ll do it,” Noel said as he grabbed the clipboard and pen.

Cody sat back and waited for Noel to ask him questions. Minutes passed and Noel got up to return the completed forms.

“It didn’t ask for my address or my social or anything?” Cody wondered.

“Uh, no, it did,” Noel replied.

“How do you know my info?” Cody asked, more curious than accusatory.

“Bro, we’re business partners. We share accounts, we share a lease, we file business taxes together. It would be weirder if I didn’t know these things.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, of course,” Cody affirmed while looking at his hands.

Noel squinted at Cody in suspicion. “Wait… you don’t know any of my shit?”

Cody scoffed and looked at Noel. “No, I… come on, of course I know your… that- that same information for you. Uh, I think, you know, it’s just right now, if you asked me, like… I don’t know, like your address or something… something I obviously know, right? ‘cause we’re business partners! You’re my best friend! Uh, of course I know that, but also maybe, I don’t know… I might not remember it… like, just right now, specifically, because, you know, of the head… the head… thing…”

Suddenly a nurse called out. _“Cody? Cody Kolo… uh… hmm… Cody?”_

“ME! Uh, me, that’s me,” Cody practically yelled.

Noel stood up first to talk to her. “Excuse me, I’m sorry – is he allowed to bring someone with him? I’m his husband and, you know, I’m just really worried about him and I worry that he might not be, you know, aware enough to be able to communicate with the doctor…”

“ _Oh, of course, sir. A single family member is always welcome. You can both follow me._ ”

The nurse turned toward the door and Noel turned to help support Cody, clutching at his chest to suppress laughter.

Cody was shaking his head and smiling. “I fucking hate you so much, dude.”

Noel grabbed Cody around the waist to help him walk and let a chuckle escape. “Love you too, man. I can’t wait to tell our kids about this someday.”

**Author's Note:**

> Cody / Alcohol is my OTP
> 
> title song: [College & Electric Youth - A Real Hero](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8)
> 
> [ you can find me on tumblr here](https://sodaplease.tumblr.com/)


End file.
